You’ve not heard from me for a while so let me update you as to where we are… well … I landed a job on Thursday and started Friday. Mixed feelings as I started because I felt like I was making a choice over what I really wanted to be doing but that has not reared its head for a while and bills need to be paid. Lots of thoughts went through my head last Friday … what am I doing ? Do I want this ? Is this for me ? Am I doing myself a mis-service ? Too many thoughts along with a long journey to work a long day learning loads of new things and lots of confusion.
Today and over the weekend the dust has settled and I am able to look at it from a non – emotional and rational point of view
First .. I still have ambition to acheive what I want .. and still have that focus but for now I feel I need to consolidate to move forward. The last 9 months has been difficult mentally and monetary wise and so now is my time to recoup and rebalance. The job is not massively paid and I have to cope with London expenses and for now it feels like a step backward but I have to treat it as a step back to go forward. Hopefully my mental state will improve , my monetary state will benefit and it could change my overall perception
It’s still early days but I am trying to look at it as a positive step .. at the moment back but moving forward